On the one hand, parents need rules to set the right boundaries, guidelines, and discipline that will help shape their children's character. On the other hand, parents need to develop relationships to help build trust and love.
The simple truth is that children need them both.
Here's a maxim for parents:
Don't crush a relationship over a rule.
Don't bend a rule over a relationship.
Given that there are times we need to be flexible in applying both. It's all about creating the right balance. This isn't going to be easy to manage. But, if parents commit to honoring both rules and relationships, their kids may well emerge into adulthood with respect for both rules and relationships in place.
Rules + Relationship = GROW UP
Rules - Relationship = FED UP
Relationship - Rules = PUFF UP
x Relationship x Rules = MESS UP
Fred Tokè aka Dr. Tokèmon