While it's necessary to claim the role of the victim if you have genuinely been victimized or abused, you cannot move on with your life unless you make the conscious choice to step out of the victim role and into the overcomer role.
Here are four critical choices to free yourself:
1. CHOOSE INCLUSION, NOT ISOLATION
Isolation often leads to Desolation. "Isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from — it cuts you off from valuable information; it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people, find allies, and mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd." - 48 Laws Of Power Summary Series.
2. CHOOSE ILLUMINATION, NOT IRRITATION
Identifying with your pain by saying, "I am depressed or anxious," serves only to perpetuate your irritation and suffering. By doing so, you fuse the toxic emotion with who you are. What you associate yourself with determine your well-being. You can choose to focus on your PLIGHT or center on the word LIGHT in it. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s said it so aptly: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that."
3. CHOOSE FAITH, NOT FEAR
Faith in the face of fear stretches you to grow up spiritually. Many studies have found that spirituality is a vital aspect of human functioning. It helps you to maintain positive relationships, achieves higher self-esteem, stays optimistic, and hold meaning and purpose in life. In contrast, fear can be paralyzing, breeds on your doubts, and drains you of your energy.
4. CHOOSE PRESENT, NOT PAST
The power is in the present because you can't change the past. You do not want something that you have no control over to define, shape, and, ultimately, rob you of living. Learn to let go and live a full life.
If the past:
- does not bring happiness to your life, let it go.
- is not constructive, let it go.
- does not let you grow, let it go.
- does not propel you forward, let it go.
- cons outnumber the pros, let them go.
- does not contribute positively to your life, let it go.
"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead." - Philippians 3:13
"Convince your enemy that he will gain very little by attacking you; this will diminish his enthusiasm."
― Sun Tzu
Fred Tokè aka Dr. Tokèmon